make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
