so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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