well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
