Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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