I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
