I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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