yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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