We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
