You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
