IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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