I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
