I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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