Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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