It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
