D3 body, D1 cock
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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