I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
