We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
