Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
