I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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