I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
