I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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