I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
