My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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