I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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