She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
