im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
