If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
