4 words: hood of his car
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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