grandma shit on top of the toilet
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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