i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
