I wish I could teleport
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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