Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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