you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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