And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
