you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
