I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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