when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
