arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
