I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
