She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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