Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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