I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
