he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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