he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
