She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
