It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
