I cockslap morals
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
