chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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