I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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