i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
