and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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