Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
